Jo Vandekelf

Have you ever found yourself going over the same thoughts again and again, trying to reach an answer that never quite arrives? Maybe it’s a conversation from earlier in the week. A decision you can’t settle on. Or a quiet sense that something might go wrong, even when you can’t say what. Overthinking is something many of the people I work with describe. It can be tiring, and it can leave you feeling as though your mind rarely gets a moment’s rest. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. What overthinking can look like Overthinking shows up differently for everyone. You might notice yourself: Replaying conversations long after they’ve ended Running through every “what if” before making a decision Feeling tired, even on a quiet day Finding it hard to be fully present with the people you love Struggling to switch off and rest From the outside, you may seem to be holding it all together. Inside, your mind can feel busy most of the time. There’s a reason for it Overthinking is often your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. When life feels uncertain, your mind looks for answers, plans and certainty. It goes over the past to make sense of it, and it runs ahead to prepare for what might come. In many ways, it’s working hard on your behalf. It just doesn’t always know when it’s time to rest. Overthinking can also be linked to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem or past experiences that have taught you to stay on alert. For some people, including those with ADHD, a busy mind can be part of how they experience the world. Understanding what’s happening in your mind and body can be a first step towards feeling a little more settled. A few small things that may help There’s no single answer, and what helps one person may not suit another. These are a few things many people find useful as a starting point: Notice it. Simply saying to yourself, “Ah, there’s that overthinking again,” can create a little space between you and your thoughts. Come back to your body. Feel your feet on the floor and let your out-breath be a little longer than your in-breath. Small mindfulness practices like this can help settle a busy mind. Write it down. Putting thoughts on paper means your mind doesn’t have to hold them all. Ask one question. “Is this something I can act on today?” If it is, choose one small step. If not, it can wait. Be patient with yourself. These are habits that build over time, not quick fixes. How therapy can help Sometimes overthinking has been around for a long time, and small steps alone don’t feel like enough. That’s ok. You don’t have to untangle it alone. Therapy offers a steady space to understand what sits beneath the busy thoughts, at a pace that feels right for you. I offer both counselling and hypnotherapy, and you’re welcome to choose either, or a mixture of the two. You can change your mind at any point. Our work is flexible and built around what you need. In counselling, we might explore where the overthinking comes from and what it’s been trying to protect you from. I may weave in practical approaches, such as CBT, solution-focused work and mindfulness, always working collaboratively with you. Hypnotherapy offers a deeply relaxed, focused state that many people find helps quieten a busy mind and ease stress. Many of my hypnotherapy clients come to me after trying other kinds of support. I’m a BACP registered counsellor, a qualified hypnotherapist and a trauma-informed practitioner. I see clients face to face at Illuminated Minds Clinic in Hyde, welcoming people from across Tameside, Stockport, the High Peak and Cheshire, and online or by telephone wherever you are. If you’d like to talk things through, I offer a free 20-minute telephone consultation, whenever you feel ready.